My friend Susie's mother threw a Period Party in 6th grade.  Susie got her period before all of us, so in our minds, periods were about femininity and love and the start of a journey towards motherhood.  We got to paint our nails and put on fancy smelling lotion, and her mom made us tea and we ate cookies.  When the party was over, Susie and her mom sent us away with full bellies, nail polish, and craving for our periods to make us feel older, wiser, and loved by our mothers. 

I was thirteen when I got my period.  I was in the 7th grade.  I was in the stall next to a window in the middle school bathroom when I became a woman.  I didn't know what to do-- laugh or cry.  So, I just sat their stunned, looking down at my panties and my changing body, changing life.  I quickly stuffed toilet paper into my panties and then ran out of the bathroom, to the nearest phone.  I called up my mom, so happy that I was finally entering into adulthood! 

My mom laughed and told me to forget about it and go back to class.  She told me about I get to suffer once a month.  I hung onto the phone, desperately wanting her to tell me that she'd bake me cookies and teach me how to love babies, and paint my nails and invite my friends over for celebration.  No, all she said at the end of the conversation was, "Now you can use your monthly allowance of $5.00 to purchase tampons."  

When I got home, she had left the money on the table with a note:  "If you're old enough to have your period, you're old enough to walk to the grocery store and get them.  Love, Mom."  I stared at the note and the money and felt the cramping in my body.  I took the money, walked to King Soopers that was 10 blocks away, and then cried in the Feminine Products aisle.  There weren't even any female cashiers that day.  I cried all the way home. 

I didn't feel much like a woman that day.  I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and I wished to stay a child.  I wished I was a boy.  I wished I was anybody but who I was.  I wished I was Susie McDay.

---Rosia